The Battle
11:57pm February 29th 2020
Dear Diary
I have reason to believe that someone has tainted the Kings Royal Milk supply. Tonight, after his hourly lactose binge, he was not his usual milk drunk - disorderly yet friendly - self. Instead when I gazed upon him it was like looking straight into the fiery pits of hell.
A dark and lonely place where gas bubbles, spit up and farts rule the land.
Even the most expensive diapers could not contain the horror that has consumed me in this hellish place.
I was alone.
His mother, exhausted from an 18 hour day at the milk factory, was sound asleep. GiGi the Patient of Panama was also sleeping soundly in the dungeon. It was just me, a sack of diapers and the blank, milk induced rage-filled gaze coming from the King.
“An hour long battled ensued. The farts.... burps.... spit up... screaming... crying... bouncing... rocking... pooping... It was an epic fight, one i feared I would lose.”
At last, just as I was about to lose the battle, two hero’s emerged from the dungeon below us. Riding a dark stallion (Tiny, our black cat) It was my beautiful wife and GiGi the Patient of Panama coming to my rescue! Just as they lifted the crazed King from my tired arms he was released from the grasp of evil and immediately went back to his normal, milk drunk silly self. I was free.
Lets just say its the King 1 - Daddy 0. He got the best of me tonight but tomorrow, I will come back stronger than ever!
